Cheer Myself Up on a Rainy Day

Not much going on here
Ugly rainy day here so I thought I'd entertain myself and lighten my mood by finding some jokes about some of the things I'm interested in, so without further ado....

Vampires....

Vampire bat
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in."OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him."Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked."Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy."Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

Werewolves....


Living with the Wolf Man
The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks. "Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts. "Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely. "Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?" At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage. Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month."

Avain-Hybrids....

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird. ( Of course Max and the flock could give the bird )

Birdie Poem
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly. (EWWW!)

Computers....

To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.
(maybe it's just my computer?)

Boys....

He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

Guys should Listen
A guy is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!"The guy immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, and as the guy rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

I know some were cheesy, but I had a good laugh.

Cruz