I gave my friend Matt those pkgs of peanuts from the plane (that counts as a souvenir, Right?), anyway he noticed something... on the bottom of the package of peanuts it said
"Produced in a facility that processes peanuts and other nuts"Well...DUH! So I decided to look for more stupid packaging/instructions online and these are the funniest I could find.
Product Instructions from Product Comments
- On a Sears hair dryer:Do not use while sleeping.(but that's the only time I have to fix my hair!)
- On a bar of Dial soap:Use like regular soap.(and that would be how exactly?)
- On some Swann frozen dinners:Serving suggestion: Defrost.(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:Product will be hot after heating.(You know someone got paid big bucks for that one)
- On packaging for a Rowenta iron:Do not iron clothes on body.(But wouldn't that save more time?)
- On a container of Salt:High in Sodium.(News Flash Everybody)
- On a blanket from Taiwan:Not to be used as protection from Tornado.(How about earthquake? tsunami? other natural disasters? This is necessary information)
- On a stroller (child's push chair):Remove child before folding.(I guess... if I have to)
- On a pkg of Condoms:Do Not Drive whilst using this product.(NO COMMENT)
- On a heated curling iron:Do Not use to curl eyelashes, may cause serious eye injury.(it "may", it may not they're not sure)
- On microwave oven:Do Not use to dry pets.(My dog wouldn't fit)
- On a TV remote control:Not Dishwasher safe.(How do they know, did they test this theory?)
- On a Blowtorch:Not be used for drying hair.(That's ok i'm using the Sears one in my sleep)
- On a bottle of hair-dye:Do NOt use as an ice cream topping.(You can't tell me what to do!)
- On a mattress:Do not swallow.(how the ****?)
- On a toaster:Do not use under water.(Yeah nobody likes soggy toast... or to you know die a painful death of electrocution)
- On Boot's Children's cough medicine:Do not drive car or operate machinery.(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those bull dozers.)
- On Nytol sleep aid:Warning: may cause drowsiness.(I'm taking this because...)
- On a Korean kitchen knife:Warning: keep out of children.(Helpful, I'll keep that in mind)
- On a string of Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only.(So.. no outer space? or underground?)
- On a food processor:Not to be used for the other use.(Now I'm curious other use...any ideas anyone?...Storm maybe?)
- On a Swedish chainsaw:Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
- On same Swedish chainsaw:Do not attempt to stop chain with genitals.(WTF! Is there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
LOL That was fun.
Cruz
PS This week's GO GREEN tips are up. Check them out.
PPS If Pro is the opposite of Con; then is Progress the opposite of Congress? Hmmm...
22 comments:
M.C.E.
Oh you're SOOO funny *dripping with sarcasm* Get off my blog, I said you could look at the post that mentions you, I didn't say you could look around, much less comment. And my screenname here is Cruz.
Is that name suppose to be smart or funny? because its not. oh just so you know that doesn't count as a souvenir. M.C.E.
M.C.E.
NO & NO I'll explain later. GET OFF MY BLOG!! Oh, and just so you know you're a dipstick! IF YOU CAN'T BEHAVE GET OFF MY BLOG!!
CRUZ
Why do you cuss? WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY!!!!?????? It's wrong and you know it, it doesn't make you cool either, even if you are 16 or something, JEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!! I hate cussing! Funny jokes though, I'm laughing my head off ',:(
What does cussing help? Got an answer? I don't think so.
ha ha those thingz were ultimately humorous wait ur real name is lizzie lol thats a cool name
general response: you know that to have happened AT LEAST once for there to be a warning label for it...
specific responses: iron- trust me. it does. but the time in the hospital kinda... defeats the purpose.
salt- OHMIGOD really?!
blanket- and they DO NOT help you float in case of flood. just wanted to inform people.
microwave oven- what about me? i'm flexible...
blowtorch- but fire's ALWAYS fun!
hair dye- why? is it toxic or something...? oh...crap
christmas lights- and what about underwater? DON'T FORGET THE FISHIES!!!
chainsaw- or tongue. or sibling. or teacher. no matter HOW much homework they give...
(hee my fave)food processor- heehee. is not telling...! but much joy, i assure you... much joy indeed....
I love your blog and am HONORED that you include me in one of your posts!
Lol! awesome, I never knew so much stuff was on the warnings xD. tAlK lAtEr! =)
Aurora
ha ha! you know what i love? those japanese products whose labels make absolutely no sense, cuz whoever wrote them can't exactly speak english.
STOP CUSSING PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay this is kinda in order
chocolatelover & anticusser(is that a real name?)-- That wasn't me! That was Matt! Okay, I did namecall but cuss, I used *** for words or abbreviation (I just realized idk the abbreviation for abbreviation HMM) Actually I'm no saint but I TRY not to cuss bcuz I have 2 lil bros that pick up on everything, and they're annoying enough without extending their vocabulary.
Cutie-- Yeah, thx I know my real name is cool name, it's also original , unique, and not at all one of the most common names in the world. HaHa. Well, at least it helps me stay anonymous, for the most part.
Storm-- Your answers were funnier than mine! I'd expect nothing less. As for your general response- I guess I never really thought about it, but I guess so, huh? hey, you outta jail yet?
Aurora-- I plan to visit ur blog in a minute so I'll comment there
Griffinrider-- I think that's what happened with the knife warning. Maybe I should do another post just dedicated to mis-translations.
Thanks for commenting on my blog
No, not a real name, just a fake one. Anti-cusser is a new name I thought needed to be used. ',:( Not a good thing, I don't cuss at all, AT ALL! Partly because I'm a christian. Oh well, keep posting, I like your blog, even if you people who comment on here are bad mouths! ;)
how dare u say levi's blog is random and not mine!!!!! pfft if u had even looked ud see that the name of M Y blog is "randomness" u should read the wasp post lol now i shall yell at u until u check my blog >.<
C
R
A
Z
Y
P
E
R
S
O
N
Y
E
L
L
W
E
E
E
E
E
E
E,
A
N
D
G
O
T
O
M
Y
B
L
O
G
OR I SHALL MURDER U WITH A MUFFIN!!!
A muffin? ',:) hehehe, I love muffins.
i just voted. i put other, and i would say:
ZOMIGOD THERE ISN'T ANY IN HERE EITHER!!!! then call security and inform them of the problem. then get the heck out of the store. i just got out of jail and don't wanna go again! (for details, see my post)
anitcuss person- i agree. but not as strongly as you. use of symbols is ok when necessary. but i like using intelligent words. or complete idocy. or quotes from movies. (random unintelligent person:you ****! me: your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!!' so HA!)
coryperson- and I will help! i will bring u back to life and murder again with PLUSHIE!!!!!
mwahaha...
Responses
Chocolatelover/anti-cusser: AHA! i knew that couldn't be real name and um... I like my blog and muffins, too. at least we have that in common.
Cory: STOP YELLING I'm going! And MMMM Muffins.
Storm: You always have a certain volatile flair for drama, I love it. Note to self: Don't go shopping with Storm.
ok Fri nights and Sat are pretty busy for me so any further comments I'll repond to Sun or Mon.
Hope you all have a super-mega-ultra-triple-great weekend!
Cruz
-stabs cruz with a carrot-
hahahhhahaha now....
-eats cruz's muffin-
*steals cory's muffin they stole from cruz* mwahaha...
I love drama llamas mamas.
gavin,s feeling a bit better. well, at least he hasnt threatened to kill anyone yet. idk about me and sam. we've kinda been avoiding each other for a while know. hey, did you hear wat happened to hamra's pack? that is so sad
OK
Cory: Ouch! this means war!!
Storm: Thx
Ada Potato: I love drama too, but other peoples. welcome to my blog, just a warning I am not responsible for any personal injury you might incure whilst here especially when foods involoved (Storm, Cory, etc.)
Cutie/Hotshot/Iggy (there was confusion last time when it came to your name)
I did hear about Hamra's pack, it was soooo sad, but I didn't post a comment I didn't know what to say. Maybe the blog would be a good outlet for her. idk. I'm going to go check your blog in a minute.
Post a Comment