Several things to get to in this blog post. Several opinions to be stated. Let's start with the question we've all been asking ourselves all these years. Why is the fast food joint known as "Hardy's" only found in the Midwest states? Everywhere else it is called "Carl's Jr." Why is this? I believe it is a consiracy. But not the hippy kind of conspiracy, its the gnome kind of conspiracy.
Did the above make any sense whatsoever to you? Because if it did you might have serious mental issues. Back to the gnome conspiracy theory.
We all have those neighbors who are all weird and buy those terribly strange lawn ornaments. (seriously no offense if you have any). The lawn ornaments come in all shapes and sizes. theres the pink flamingos. the unrealistic deer. but the leader of all of these rogue lawn ornaments is the lawn gnome. you see, gnomes have been associated with lawns since the dawn of time. the cavemen used gnomes to scare away other cavemen. the neanderthals used the gnome as a crude toothpick. the medeviel peoples used lawn gnomes as tips on their spears. but it was not untill recently that lawn gnomes had taken over humans minds to the extreme that the humans started manufacturing more kinds of gnomes, and different kinds of lawn ornaments such as the flamingos and deer. it is especially bad at christmas time with all of those fat red pajama guys and all of their reindeer join the squad of lawns ornaments. and if that isnt enough proof, i have evn more proof.
it was may seventh nineteen ninty two. Terrell Jones, who was a travel agent, had just gone to the store and bought fifty lawn gnomes to decorate his very plain lawn. within the next year, Mr Jones had founded travelocity, the symbol of which is the lawn gnome.
if that isnt enough proof, then screw you.
now you're probably wondering why i called this post the portabella mushroom burger.
let me give you a rough description of this burger.
lettuce. onion. tomato. burger. cheese. condomints. but what is this?
they put ****ing mushrroms on the dang thing!
i thought they just clled it the portabella mushroom burger because it was a burger!
they did NOT alert me that there were mushrooms on this burger.
not to mention.
you know how they call it the "six dollar burger" because its worth six dollars but you get it for cheaper?
well in certain places in california, you can buy a six dollar burger for seven dollars.
the name itself SCREAMS ripoff.
ok yeah my hands are getting tired fromall of this typing and crap. so yeah...
-Salom
SAVE THE WORLD
13 years ago
